I saw it, and I had to have it. I walked away, looked at the other yarns, REAL yarns, wool yarns, cotton yarns, even my archenemy, mohair, but I came back. One swipe of the credit card later, it was MINE.
What is that? Sit down, and pop a Valium. I will go slowly.
knit on size 10 needles
furry, so only garter stitch is reasonable
Say what?!? Since when do I buy yarn like this? Apparently since this weekend when Paula and I visited And the Beadz Go On… in Wickford, RI. Lovely shop, filled with the most wonderful of yarns, and THIS is what I had to get. THIS and nothing else. Furthermore, I was so giddy with excitement over this yarn that when Paula and I stopped by her house, I borrowed a pair of US 10 needles, so that I could start knitting on the train ride home.
“Come on,” you say, “So what! We know you’re up to something! Yes, it’s novelty yarn, garter stitch, and big needles, but surely you’re making something exotic! A dunce’s cap?”
Take that other Valium now: I am making a scarf. For myself. Out of novelty yarn, US 10 needles, and garter stitch. It will look like a skinny and long rectangle. I am not knitting it on a bias or anything like that.
“Okay,” you say, “it was in the clearance bin, you couldn’t pass it up!”
It wasn’t in the clearance bin. It wasn’t even pretending to be on sale. It’s not cheap, either ($10.50/skein). I paid full price for the furry acrylic stuff.
A woman approached me while I was waiting for the Red Line. She was observing me and my novelty scarf with great interest, and finally started a conversation:
Woman: Wow, that is cool!
Woman: I bet it’s warm.
Me: No, it’s more for the fall or spring, because it’s not wool.
Woman: I bet it’s soft (gestures with fingers rubbing against each other).
Me: (extend the scarf to her).
Woman: (after touching the scarf) SHIT, that’s so soft!
Me: Thanks, it is pretty soft. (Go back to knitting, but the woman is still observing. I can tell that she’s a knitter. Also, she speaks very little English.) Do you know how to do this?
Woman: Oh yeah, I used to make sweaters and socks. But you know, what you’re making is more simple, you just have to make each one the same.
Grumperina, more simple? I had to show her my Secret Sock Pal socks. You know I had to. Out came the socks, and I passed them to her so she could take a look and confirm that I’m not just a Novelty Yarn Scarf Ho.
Woman: SHIT, this is nice! (proceeds to stick her entire hand inside one of the socks and examine the heel) SHIT, this part is nice, this is the complicated part. (examines the heel of the other sock) SHIT, this one is nice, too. That’s the part that was always bad. SHIT, it is so warm!
Me: Thanks, they came out quite nice.
Woman: Who taught you?
Me: I learned from a book.
I have this really bad habit – when I’m talking to someone who doesn’t have a great grasp of the English language, I start signing (as in, American Sign Language) as I’m speaking. As though my hand gestures will make it any easier for the other person to understand what I’m saying! Anyway, so now you have to imagine that I’m not just saying, “I learned from a book,” I’m also making the appropriate signs.
Woman: SHIT, that’s nice! Did it take you a long time? It is so small, so many…
Me: About 3 weeks. The scarf will be quicker; I knit this much in about 1 hour (show her my progress).
Woman: SHIT, it will be so warm, you’ll be able to put it twice around your neck.
Me: Well, maybe not twice, but I’ll see once I make more of it.
Woman: SHIT. It is so soft. And warm.
The project worth at least a dozen SHITs:
The other project worth at least a dozen SHITs: stay tuned.