Can someone please explain what’s happening to me? First, I started buying yarn without a project in mind. Granted, this happened only once and it was my beloved (beeeeluuuuved) Louet, which has a wonderfully adaptable gauge and this way of morphing into projects in my mind. Okay, never mind, that’s not so weird. Then it was starting new projects before finishing old ones. In fact, I’m working on three right now: the Adrienne Vittadini sweater, the lilac lace scarf, and the textured rose scarf. But considering the AV sweater is almost done, the textured rose scarf is permanently on hold (she didn’t give me b-day present, so why should I knit her a scarf?), I’m almost down to one. Alright, this isn’t so weird.
But trust me, there’s a point to this post. The dreaded AV sleeve is…. I’m blanking on any adjectives other than “dreaded” and which won’t make you blush in front of your kids. I need my mouth and my brain washed out with soap until the skin is raw. You know how Diana cut the sleeve of her sweater because it was too long ? I imagine doing that to the AV sleeve, except for no reason, in more than one place, without picking up the stitches and binding off, and then laughing the evil laugh, mwahahahaha! So, I hid all my scissors. And knives. Even the butter knives, which don’t cut for shit. In the meantime, my antagonism towards the AV sleeve has been expressed in the following completely atypical behaviors:
- I only haphazardly consult my pattern rewrite. As a result, I sometimes forget to increase when I’m supposed to.
- When I forget to increase in the proper row, I don’t frog. Instead, I make up the increases when I realize my mistake.
- In the first sleeve, I k2tog at the right edge and SSK at the left. About 6 rows into the decrease section of the second sleeve, I realized that I’d reversed which decrease happens at which edge. I did not frog, nor did I correct myself for the remainder of the decrease section. Who the hell is going to notice?!?
Oh, and can we talk about the yarn for a second? Diana (yes, the same one who cut her sweater’s sleeve) asked if I would use this yarn again. NO. Hell no. Hell-O no. For starters, I will not use the Hollyberry color for any project again because it has a wonderful tendency to bleed. (Note: the bleeding is color-specific: the Petal color (Pepto-Bismol pink) doesn’t bleed, which is good) All the Merino Style yarns, however, are too soft. They would make great scarves and hats, but they are not meant to become sweaters. Frogging is absolutely impossible: the yarn comes out fuzzy, misshapen, kinked, worn, and it doesn’t bounce back if washed. In fact, washing just wears out the yarn to some sort of half-fuzzy, half-disintegrated nightmare. The bottom line: this yarn is too soft to be sweater material.
And I wish I could say that there’s a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, or at least some pot to appease my next-door neighbors (I may have cursed at them, but that’s a story for my personal blog), but I’m afraid there isn’t. I basted the first sleeve to the body of the sweater and tried it on. While I’m very happy with how it looks in my shoulder area (always a problem, I have tiny shoulders), it is very loose throughout the arm, creating unsightly wrinkles around my armpits:
I think it’s meant to be all bell-shaped and blouse-like, but I’m NOT digging it. At all. DON’T EVEN POINT OUT THAT THIS IS HOW IT LOOKS ON THE MANNEQUIN. Don’t.
With the magic of some more backstitch, I left the upper part of the sweater as is, and “took in” some of the lower sleeve to simulate what it would look like were it more like a sweater sleeve, and less like a blouse sleeve:
(the bell sleeves are still there, just bulked up by my backstitching an entire pattern repeat)
This would be fantabulous. This would involve knitting new sleeves and perhaps an elbow replacement. This would involve a weekly visit to the therapist and the continuation of bitching on this here blog. And most importantly, this would involve buying more yarn (as I mentioned, frogging this yarn is a total mess) and praying to all the holy things that the dye lots look similar.
@^#&%!-*@*%@*% piece of #(%!